A token of his affection (or my favorite Christmas present)

After Daddy was diagnosed with FTD I thought it would be important for everyone to have a tangible token to associate with his memory.  Most likely Daddy won't be there for when my kids graduate high school or college, get married, have kids of their own or any of the other major milestones in life.  I thought it would be nice for everyone to be able to hold or wear something at times we really want to know that Daddy or Papa (as the case may be) would have been here at this event and he loves us so much. 

So last year we started by getting all of the granddaughters a heart pendant with their name on one side and "Love, Papa 2011" on the other.  It's simple and appropriate enough for the girls to wear now, after he's gone or they can use it as a charm, tie it into their wedding bouquet, whatever they want.  It's something to hold close and to trigger Papa memories. 

Before last Easter, Daddy and I started a project for Mama.  Now Daddy has never worn jewelry and though he has a wedding band, I don't think he's worn it more than on a few occasions.  We were going to make something with his wedding band, but we couldn't find the thing.  So we went to our friendly, local jewelry store where Daddy and I began the project.  We picked out a gold wedding band and took my Mama's original engagement ring (she doesn't wear that - she wears her Grandmother's). The jewelry store removed the diamonds from the engagement band and set them on three white gold bars inside the gold wedding ring - to make a beautiful, unique pendant.  I wanted Daddy to give this to Mama instead of us having it made after he's gone.  When he's no longer here she can wear it and know Daddy gave it to her and had a part in the process.  With this disease, Daddy's ability to fully participate in decisions, even simple ones like ordering a meal, is very limited.  When we gave Mama her necklace at Easter, we had put it in an egg and she was pretty surprised and Daddy was pretty proud. 

This Christmas, my boy (who's all of 7) is receiving a pocket watch Daddy picked out.  On the front it has his initials and the back says "Love, Papa 2012."  He won't really be able to use it until he's older and even then maybe on special occasions.  Still I wanted him to be able to have a token of Papa at his special life events or if there's just a day he wants to feel closer to Papa after he's gone.

Now as for me, I've known since the beginning I wanted something to have that I could touch when I think of my Daddy.  But what?  The story of how I received my token is just perfect and I'm so thankful it worked out this way. 

One day during the last week of November, I was over at Daddy's house watching him.  He was having a lunch date with an old friend and instead of going to the Adult facility for a half day, I was sitting with him.  Daddy is often very sweet and loving, but on this day even more so,  he kept on calling me his baby girl.  When his friend was there, he would point over to me and say, "that's my baby girl - she's a good girl."
  
Since Christmas was approaching, I had asked him what he wanted to get mama, since we would have to go shopping together.  Then he said, "What am I going to get you?"   Well I don't know, so I said, "I don't need anything."  He responded, "Yes, I have to get you something."  So there I go starting to cry in the kitchen because he still wants to take care of me.
Later in the afternoon we stopped by our jewelry store: Artisan Jewelry   I was looking for a nice pair of earrings for Mama from Daddy.  This is the same store we had gotten both the girl's pendants & Mama's necklace - so they're pretty familiar with our story.  I was telling the lady how I want something special from Daddy, but I just don't know what.  We were looking through the cases and she told me I would know it when I see it.  My style is different - I like to have things that are unique and a little antique looking, which I had just mentioned to her.  She brought out some pieces from the back that they were working on - repurposing antique pieces - most of them from a two generation hat pin collection with some pins dating back to the mid-1800's.  I saw something I just loved, but this is a gift from my Daddy and I want him as involved in the process.  So we laid out three pieces for him to choose from - and he picked the one I thought was so lovely.  We had found my token.  The next day when Daddy had gone to the Adult facility, he was so proud and telling everyone that he had gotten me a Christmas present.  The store finished my piece very quickly and though it is actually my Chrismas present for this year, I've been wearing it everyday since November 30th.  Most days Daddy looks to see if I'm wearing my necklace - and I am.  If I know I'm going to see Daddy, I even put it on with my pajamas so I can show him I'm wearing our necklace. 

Mama, as well as most people who know me, has been calling me a spoiled brat for getting my Christmas present so early.  That's ok - I'll take it.  That experience and my necklace have truly made me feel like Daddy's little girl more than anything else in over 2 years.  I'm so thankful for the memory of the day we went to pick out my present and how much he wanted to tell me I'm his baby girl and that I'm a good girl.  Those words are the most priceless token of his affection and I will treasure them forever.  No matter what the future holds for us, even after he's no longer with us, I know that to my Daddy, I am his good, little girl.